I have been involved in abusive relationships and know the difference between a loving and healthy relationship and one that is not. Over the years, I have advised a number of my male and female friends on how to get out while they still have their self respect and in some cases their lives.
The story usually goes like this; You meet someone, the sparks fly, the sex is great, 6 months go by and then you begin to see who you are really dealing with. But you like them, no...you love them, even though the abusive behavior is getting worse each day. The honeymoon is over and now the nightmare begins.
Domestic violence can be difficult to identify, especially for the person experiencing it.
People sometimes misunderstand domestic violence and think it is only physical abuse when actually it can be emotional, financial and/or sexual abuse as well.
Without education, many gay men may stay in dangerous or life-threatening situations due to the inability to label their experience as domestic violence. Not until it is labeled will they seek to access the help and information they need.
Abusers often manipulate victims so that they feel they are to blame for the abuse. Sometimes GLBT abusers will try to tell their partners that “this is how it is in a GLBT relationship”. Abusers often promise to change their behavior, and the hope for that positive change can keep a victim from identifying the pattern of abuse in the relationship.
If you are experiencing this, accept that you are embarassed by it, accept that it is happening to you and get out of the relationship NOW!
Domestic Violence Info & Resource links 1 2 3 4